(With random pictures just for fun. Because, let’s face it, we’re not experiencing a lot of new things right now!)
I know we’re all a little freaked out about being in quarantine, in our homes, with our families, every-second-of-the-day…for weeks! Just because I said yes to getting married and was thrilled to become a mom doesn’t mean I signed up for this! What are we going to do? How will we pass the time? What will we talk about? Well, if I weren’t stuck in a small RV in Guatemala during this pandemic, I’d think about spending my quarantine-time like this:
Day One: Binge-Watch a Netflix Series (or Three)
With our crazy lives, we never have the time to lounge around and veg out to a good show. Well, there’s no better time than the present to allow yourself a little shame-free couch-potato time. After all, we’ve got weeks of “social-isolating” to go. There’s no sense finding an answer for world-piece on Day One. The rest of the world would resent us for it anyway. Give yourself a break, grab that remote (and a bag of chips) and let’s do this!
Day One Notes:
If your body is aching a little from Day One, that’s ok. It’s likely just a cramp from laying on one side for a long period of time. Next time try switching it up halfway through the day, or at least between series, and move to the other side of the couch. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to stand up and do a quick stretch. And while you’re up, you may as well use the bathroom, and grab another bag of chips!
Day Two: Catch up on Your Social Media Feeds
I don’t know about you, but it never seems like there is enough time in the day to check in with everyone on social media. I mean, who’s posts do you choose to “Like, Comment and Share?” I never want anyone to feel left out, so sometimes I just read posts without ever chiming in, kind of like lurking in the shadows, just not as creepy. Well, now here’s our chance to let those we love (family, close friends, old friends from high school, your chiropractor, the lady you met in the waiting room at your chiropractor’s office, and all those friends of friends of friends) know that we’re out here thinking about them, and really do care about their latest culinary masterpiece or the fact they just got bangs.
Day Two Notes:
If you felt overwhelmed on Day Two, it’s probably because you spent too much time on Twitter. There’s way too much useless crap on there, so I’d recommend staying with Facebook and Instagram for the good, quality content.
Day Three: Start Reading a New Book or Pick Up the One Collecting Dust on Your Nightstand
We’re really digging in now! I’d recommend a James Patterson or Daniel Steele. The point is, you don’t want to think too much for the first book. Just find something meaningless yet entertaining to pass some time. And I’d recommend reading slow to make it last.
Day Three Notes:
If your brain hurts a little at first, it’s just because you spent the last 48 hours filling it with useless crap, and now it has to focus on something a “little” deeper. After a chapter or two, and maybe a nice glass of wine, it should subside. If not, it’s probably because you chose non-fiction. Put it down and refer back to the instructions above.
Day Four: Wash Your Dishes From the Last Three Days and Put Together a Shopping List for More Supplies, aka, Chips
Unless all you ate was chips the past few days, odds are your dishes are piling up, and the cleaning lady can’t come during the quarantine. Well, unless you think it’s your wife, in which case, God help you! You may not make it out of this quarantine alive. So, you have no choice but to do a little tidying up yourself. I’d say put paper plates on your list for the store, so you don’t have to repeat this day, but just because we’re in quarantine, doesn’t mean we have to make Mother Nature suffer as well.
Day Four Notes:
I know Day 4 is nowhere near as exciting as the last several days, but you can’t just veg out, eating chips forever. Well, you can, but I’m not sure going to Target to buy larger clothes is on the list of “approved” outings at the moment.
Day Five: Clean Out Your Email Inbox and Junk Mail Folders
Now that your house is starting to look a bit cleaner, it’s time to clean out your virtual world as well. If you’re like me, there’s a lot of spam and promotional adds looming in your account that need some attention. They’re the ones you aren’t quite ready to delete on first sight, swearing you’ll go back and give them another look, but never do. Kind of like the “30 Days to a Better Body” email that’s collecting dust inside mine right now. Hint! You might want to grab a bottle of wine for this project. You’re going to be here awhile.
Day Five Notes:
Be careful! This project can easily spill into Day Six if you start reading every email. But wait! We’re in quarantine. What else do you have to do? Read away!
Day Six: Call (not text or email) Your Loved Ones to Check In
My suggestion here would be to start with your extroverted friends as they are the ones currently losing their minds by this point. In fact, you may want to plan a Zoom video call with at least 6 other social friends as well. They will have a lot to talk about. Your introverted friends are fine. They are happy inside, finding plenty of things to keep themselves busy and would most likely be annoyed that you’re calling them. Just spend some time “Liking” their posts on Facebook.
Day Six Notes:
OK, this should probably have been on Day One, but in your defense, you probably needed the content of Day 1-5 in order to have something to talk about. Well, I guess there’s always Donald Trump’s campaign ads, err…I mean press conferences to discuss.
Day Seven: Subscribe to a New Online Class
Have you ever wanted to play guitar, become an actress, write a novel or make a macramé plant hanger? Online courses seem to be popping up all over the place, for just about anything you can think of, and it’s the perfect time to try something new. Some are even offering 30 days for free, which I don’t understand. They’ve got an audience out there with literally nothing else to do! Apparently, someone missed the class about “supply-and-demand.”
Day Seven Notes:
Double-check the days and hours you need to commit to for this class. You don’t want anything interfering with your new Netflix schedule and social media check-ins.
Side note: Has anyone noticed I have yet to mention “Take a Shower?” This is totally optional by the way, especially if you live alone. And if you don’t live alone, chances are the last six days weren’t as relaxing as you had hoped, or your significant other is following the same schedule.
Well, there you have it! A week’s worth of time-consuming activities that will keep you occupied awhile during the quarantine. If you like the routine, feel free to repeat it the following week. However, if you’re feeling a need for something more productive and healthy, you could choose to start the following week like this:
Week Two/Day 1: Start a New Workout Routine and Post it on Facebook so Everyone Can Join in or Feel Really Bad About Themselves
Ok, this might hurt a little bit. You’ve just spent an entire week lying around with a bag of chips. Good thing workout clothes have spandex in them and there’s no one around to judge. Oh, wait! This is going on Facebook. I hear sometimes people judge other people on Facebook. Hmm…what the Hell! It has entertainment value, right? Pull out those old Jane Fonda workout videos, Thigh Masters, or anything else you can find and let’s sweat!
Week Two/Day One Notes:
Be careful. This new-found burst of energy and healthy direction may alienate many of your friends who have chosen the Netflix path during this time. But, this is your quarantine! And you should spend it any way you like! Just remember! When you’re finished, it is still perfectly acceptable to celebrate with a glass (or bottle) of wine!
Cheers! You just survived a week of quarantine! I’d like to say I have plenty more ideas to help keep you busy for the next several weeks, but again…I live in a trailer in Guatemala with poor WIFI, so you’re on your own.
If you have some great ideas to share, please feel free to do so in the notes below.
Good Luck and Always Remember to Laugh!
Additional articles from Living Outside the Zoo:
Hiding From a Virus 4K Miles From Home
Helping the Animals and People of Pana
Quarantine in Paradise